New Jeans

I've hated shopping for clothes for years. Over a decade at least. Never fit right, always changing sizes, usually upwards for years gets a person down.

This going down in sizes thing, its all new and I'm loving every second of it. I got into the size I wanted. 18's. Now some women might cringe and be amazed, but I've gone down from a 28 to an 18. I'm damn proud of that fact. I've been without jeans all summer, and to put on a pair, have them fit that well and feel good and know just what that signifies to me.. well yes, I've been bragging left and right.

I know I might lose one or two more sizes at most truthfully. I have these hips that are never going anywhere. I don't think I'd ever manage to get into 12's, and if so, then I'm alright with that. I'm not going to fight over where my bones are. I think I could live just fine wearing 14's or 16's. The truth of the matter I'm completely shocked sometimes still about how much I've lost and how easy it was actually. Yes, I think it's been damn easy so far. Maybe the next part of the journey won't be done so easily, perhaps I'll regret this. For now though. I'll just enjoy it.

59 total lost, even with a crappy ass week where I couldn't work out at all due to being sick. I'm one pound off my goal of losing 60 before the wedding.

Just what day is it?

Staying home sometimes gives you a disjointed sense of time. With 3 kids and a husband that works, I usually keep a good grasp on just what day it is. But for some reason this week feels like its moving at a snail's pace and and I just can't get a handle on what day it is. The calendar shouts that its Wednesday, but I'm thinking internally it just has to be Thursday by now.

Its probably cause I know I've got so much to do soon as payday hits on Friday. I need some new clothes, JEANS.. oh my I've never wanted a new pair of jeans so badly. I'm hoping to get into a specific size, really hoping too. Need a shirt or three as well, something for fall that fits.

Grocery shopping as well, then gone for the whole weekend pretty much.

Vince is dealing with more crap from his father. It finally happened, Vince called and gee, the phone was disconnected for two days in a row. And he wasn't answering his cell. He calls last night and tells Vince he had to 'recycle' his phone... whatever. At least Vince isn't buying into it. Of course, he also tells Vince that he won't be able to come up with the deposit for his ring as promised either. GO FIGURE. I coulda seen that one coming a billion miles away. I told Vince one way or another he'll get his ring, regardless. It just has to wait a few months on our end.

Also, made contact with a college rep to find out how we go about visiting the college and stuff, it seems they have free saturday visits all year long. That'll work well since I want to go visit Brian's folks and we can drive over from there and even stay the night if we have too sometime next summer. Better than the nearly 1000 bucks to fly up offered by the school. Crazy stuff, planning for college. I just want to do this right for him, afraid of screwing something up and him not being able to go when hes supposed too.

I worry too much I think... But I just want this to be exactly what Vince needs.

Girlish or boyish?

Well, no surprise here!

You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine.You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you.A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down.But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Found this, prepare for many wasted hours!

So I wander around this really trashy forum dedicated to the game I play. The people there are generally nasty and rude to one another and its alright to watch from afar, just don't get yourself caught up in it. I did once or twice, and I was too slow of a learner. Now I rarely post, mostly just watch the proverbial crap fly back and forth.

Every once in a while though something useful can be found there, and so I found this. Immediately I had to share it with my mother, who just loves this sorta thing.

Without further teasing, its a link to a live webcam that is at a watering hole in Botswana Africa. It even has lights at night. Lots of neato info elsewhere at the site and its linked with National Geographic. Mom and I spent about an hour yesterday watching it together with the kids, talking on speaker phone (Love my free weekend minutes)

http://205.188.130.53/ngm/wildcamafrica/wildcam.html

Enjoy!!

Ok, so on with the day

Well, last night was an interesting night. So much for wanting to watch my Sci-fi friday night. First off, I fell asleep in the middle of Atlantis, but trusty DVR was working so no worries there.

Then, I go upstairs but Vincent decides this is the time for my 'talk' with his father. Bit of background here. Divorced now for almost 11 years, its been a very rocky road. Probably a thousand times worse than when we were married. No child support, no contact with the kids for the past 4 years until just this summer when Vince contacted him. Great guy huh?

Anyways, Vince for his own reasons which I respect, needed contact with him. So he spent three weeks over the summer there and I managed to get through that. Well now its time for Vince's class ring. I told him that I couldn't afford it right now but in a few months we could. That of course wasn't what he wanted to hear, so he went to his father. And Mike promised him he'd take care of it. In case my children ever read this, I'll try to keep the comments to myself a bit, but in the end, they know what I feel about him. I don't believe it will happen. But I'm keeping my mouth shut in case it does because I don't want to be the bad guy.

But Mike and I finally talked and I told him that one, we are the adults here, Vincent should not have to be the go-between. I tried to be civil except for one brief comment about never claiming the children again on his tax returns. And of course, the other stuff about Katie came up. That was the real point of the conversation. She wants Brian to adopt her, and I want Mike to give his permission. She flat out hates Mike, she pretty much thinks he is scum and never wants anything to do with him. I told him if he actually would do this, he might have more of a chance in 10-15 years or whatever that she'd come to realize he actually DID something for her rather than to deny it and have us do it on our own when she is 14. See the law in Virginia says that once she is 14 and lived 5+ years with stepparent, we don't need the other parent's permission.

So we'll see.

I think the hardest part will be that Katie needs to assume Brian's last night from what I've read. We'll get further details on it as we go forward. I'm a bit torn. I don't want her to say no because of the name only issue, but in the end, I think I'd like her to take the name. Whats that quote from Romeo & Juliet? Whats in a name? A rose by any other name still smells as sweet?

So..

Not sure what I did yesterday, I was playing around showing my daughter stuff and I somehow deleted mine, but I still saw a one there with the same name and 2 posts.. so I dunno what I deleted or not. But one false start isn't a bad thing.

Today is my parent's anniversary, 38 years I do believe. Its also my great-grandmother's birthday, she is 104. Pretty damn amazing I think. Of course, she fell yesterday while my grandmother was visiting and broke her hip, had some sort of replacement surgery (details got a bit garbled with my grandmother being really tired) and is amazingly doing well. What touched me most was telling my kids, Vince and Megan have never met her and it wasn't really a big deal, but Katie had met her over the summer on her trip with my folks and she immediately got all teared up and started saying that it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair cause she had barely met her and I'm definitely assuming she wants to talk to her again.

I spent about an hour just talking to Katie and it always just amazes me how easily she talks to me about anything still. I keep expecting her to close up and not communicate.

Weight loss has definitely slowed, but I think its also a normal plateau as I'm still losing clothing sizes. Having nothing to wear is so getting on my nerves so I started to raid Brian's overly full side of the closet. Found a button down shirt, normally his shirts would gap huge at the hips, but this one I could button all the way up. It was even a bit big! It was only a man's large. Talk about wanting to bounce around the house.

Course, I think I'm getting a cold.. blah.

The beginning!

There is something rather liberating about blogs and talking to whoever mightread it. Often times you find yourself with these random thoughts during the dayand no one around to listen. Well my cats listen, but they don't reply verywell.Lets see, some details. Theres a wedding upcoming on Brian's side of the familyin a little over a week, and I finally got myself a really sexy strappy gownthat looks dynamite on me. Yeah, I know I still have a long way to go, but Iwanted something that made me feel gorgeous and I found it. Now if I can justfigure out what the heck to do with my hair.Kids are doing exceedingly well in school already this year. I'm blessed thatthey all still talk to me and want to tell me how things are going and what isnew with them in their lives. They are all something special and I look forwardto seeing where they go in the future.

Former blogging done here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/twolfette/

Archive: More Updates

Ever had one of those things that just makes you feel... Wow... just completely awesome and proud of yourself?

I had one today. Trying on some stuff in my closet, what little there is. See, theres a wedding Oct. 1 with Brian's side of the family and they have NO idea ive lost any weight, let alone 53 pounds (current total). The dress I wore at his sister's wedding hangs off me, a tailor might help but I don't know if I want to wear that or if they could help enough. I bought a dress at Burlington, and its alright, just nothing .. Wow...

Then I got bold.. about a month or so ago when I was getting rid of stuff I pulled out my wedding dress, and it wouldn't zip up the back more than half way. Today, all the way up. Just like the day I wore it. Eleven years ago. Eleven years of fat I've lost now. I'm as small as I was when I was pregnant with Megan.. just a couple months pregnant mind you. Now just 77 more pounds to reach my goal. I know where 50 of that will take me and I'm excited about that. I'm still on track, losing about 2 pounds a week. Had a couple slacker weeks with family here and I know my portions were getting a bit bigger than I wanted. So I'm buckling down hard this week and next and going to work at it even more.

And I just might go return that dress and find something that fits a little tighter..