Archive

So.. two weeks.. Lost 47 pounds total now, down to 233. Went to Busch Gardens on Sunday and had a blast with the family. Never got tired or sore, walked all over in REALLY HOT WEATHER (ugh) and rode tons of rides. I didnt have any worries bout not fitting into the seats, though my rear took a bit of persuading on one Megan rode her first roller coasters ever and LOVED them.

Kitty Update: Nari is growing like a weed, I think she is at least doubled in size if not more. She plays hard falls asleep at the drop of a hat, many times curled up in my arms. She goes up and down the stairs on her own, loving it when she finds where we 'hide' at night time. We haven't had an accident in a few days and hoping she's figured out litter box is good.

Can't wait till next weekend when my family comes down to visit, bringing my wayward daughter home at last. Two months, doesnt sound that long, but damn its been a long time. I bet she's grown on me, and I'm hoping theres a small chance I get a hug from her, but I won't hold my breath.

Vincent seems to be doing better again, whatever effects from the trip are wearing off. I know he doesn't play or talk to his father half as much as he was before already, something about him being 'busy' all the time. Yeah,... riiight.

I find myself completely bored in the afternoons and I'm trying hard to figure out what to do with my time. I really want to start writing again, and I think I will soon as the kids are all back in school. Been working ona concept that incorporates two of my favorite characters from the other stories i've written but reworked in a way that puts them together and going on their 'adventure'. THe hardest part will be coming up with whatever 'world' they live in from scratch. Most times I just use whatever game world I'm currently involved in, but that doesn't really fly for an original novel. I just need something to do.

Getting a job has crossed my mind, but theres the slight problem of transportation. I could hope to find one right on the bus route, but I don't think it'll be happening. Not to get the sort of job I want. I dunno. I could be being too picky, but then again I know I don't want to work at certain places. I would if I absolutely had too. It really comes down to needing another car if I'm gonna get a job, and right now thats completely out of the question. Another car payment & more insurance & more gas... er, what paycheck? I keep checking the local listings though, who knows what I'll find.

Archive: One kid home

Yeah yeah, so its been a while Heather :p

So, up to 40 pounds, maybe even 41 pounds lost. Walking mornings only right now, bums me out a little bit but I just dont even want to be out there around some of the people. I'm still working out and I even got my home gym. Something I never thought I'd want to own much less actually having one. Of course, a couple parts were missing so I can't really use it completely yet (i can do arm stuff, just not leg stuff) but its here, its built and I've already used it once. The whole reason behind it is this. Pretty soon, the dumbells I have won't be enough anymore. They are 10 pounds a piece. The next ones I can find easily are 20 pounds. Thats a pretty big jump and then where after that?

The gym lets me keep advancing and getting better, it controls the motions and I dont have to worry about dropping the dumbell and hurting something or someone, or losing control of the motion and pulling something badly. And I know my goals and what I want. I want to see the outline of muscles, I want that firm look. I know the work it'll be and I'm wanting to do it. I'm willing to take it slow but I will get there. Its funny the odd responses or lack of responses I'm getting from folks when I mention getting this. Its like it was ok to be walking and the treadmill, but this is out of the realm of ordinary. I look at it this way, I could get a gym membership that I"d likely never use or this. I've already figured out I'm much better at working at home. I don't like the feeling of being stared at, or that awkwardness of having someone watch me when I have no clue what I'm doing. If i can figure it out for myself on my own, I'm pretty happy bout it.

Lets see, what else. Vincent is home safe and sound. Hes been out of it though the last day, not sure if its the let down after the trip or what. He mentioned his father talking about him coming to live there, and from what Vince says it was something Mike DIDN'T want. Not sure how to take that. I've also already seen through some of Mike's stories through Vince. Stuff like this: Vince starts talking about his father's job & boss and how the man 'does nothing' leaves all the time yada yada... This is also the boss that supposedly paid for Vince's trip out there, helped buy some books for school for Vince (i was gonna get them) and let Mike bring him to work every day he was there. Yes.. so this is a horrible man that puts all the work on Mike and does nothing. Another story... So we got Vince a cell phone before he left. While there, Mike gets himself, his wife and his step-son phones. Vince told me how he had to 'show off the ringtone' whatever... even offered to give him 20 bucks so they could text message when he came home (snorts) So, he calls me the day hes leaving and asks at some point if it was ok if he called Mike during the day. I said yes, then started wondering. Well long story short, it seems the phones are 'returned' because they were 'mixed up' with a small business' order or something like that. I'm just thinking "yeah riiiiight" but I'm trying so hard not to say that. Just asked a few questions trying to get Vince to get that into his head.

So I dunno, I dunno what he got outta the trip, what hes really feeling and thinking. He says things are ok, hes happy to be home. I just dunno right now what to make of it.

New kitty updates: Nari is doing wonderful. We've had her for a week now, shes defintely growing already. The box under my desk is no longer her home, she sleeps in front of it on a towel. At night we lock her into the computer room with her own litter box, food & water. Just not ready for her to run the house yet. I figure another week or two and she will be fine. Most of the time she makes it to the box, but we usually catch her the rest of the time and just put her in and she goes. Haven't found an accident in a few days which is awesome. I'm so happy we adopted her. She has really taken to me, just gazes up at me with those pretty eyes (still blue) and I melt. Creeper is getting better with her, not hissing and growling and only smacking her now and then. Kriye comes into the room where she is at least, and its funny to watch her and Creeper making more friendly now to each other.

Kriye is pretty much Katie's cat, Creeper is Vince & Brian's and so this one will hopefully stay with me. She also seems to adore Megan. That works out pretty good for me. I have no intention of any more pets any time soon. Three cats, three kids... seems about right eh?

Personal stuff.. Missing a very dear person more than I like. His work keeps him so busy that I'm lucky to get a hello, a really good day I get a couple lines of text and thats about it. Leaves a pretty big hole with nothing left to fill it in. Other friends have come back into the picture that I haven't spoken to in a long time, feels really nice. Life is adjusting, I'm spending less and less time online gaming and very comfortable with myself and my schedule.

I want to take this next full year, from now till the end of next summer... finish getting myself into shape, get my finances in order and then start looking into schooling. We also have hopes of looking for a house probably not next summer, but the one after that. Of course, that summer Vince will be going away to college. There is also the fact that Brian only has a few more years in the Navy, 2010, and I dont know if I want to actually buy a house right before he retires. No idea where we will go when that happens, but we have alot of desire to stay here and let the kids all finish school. Katie graduates 2010, so it'd just be Megan's last 3 years. I still dream and long to return to Ohio to be around my family, just not sure if its even a feasible goal. I don't know where my kids will be heading too, if they move away from here it'd be more likely I'd want to go elsewhere. I won't ever feel like this is home, home is where my family is.

Archive: Blargh

Lot to vent out, few to listen it feels. So I walk in the morning and at night, I can't even describe how different my neighborhood feels from my morning walks to my evening (just before the sun sets). Morning is nice and pleasant, people going off to work or school, sun rising and its usually alot warmer by the end than when I started. But the biggest thing is, I feel comfortable and don't feel ill at ease ever.

Evening comes, I really don't like walking then. About 85% of the people, no problem. Other joggers/walkers on the sidewalk, all nod and say hello. But then you get that group of folks that just make you feel uncomfortable. The ones that won't move out of the way a bit so someone can walk by on the sidewalk, or drive by in a car full of guys and yelling whatever they are yelling but it scares you shitless.

Blah.. I'm fighting with myself wondering if its me wanting and excuse to not walk (i didnt walk over the weekend, due to it pouring down freaking raining). It'd only be a month till I got the treadmill and then no excuses.

Vincent is at his father's house in Kentucky, my feelings and emotions on that one are well, all over the board. I want him to find what he needs, whatever it is from his father that he can't get anywhere else. I want him to figure it out and get past it. What I'm scared of is that he'll want more, that he'll want to stay there, that he'll think its better there than it could ever be at home.

I'm not afraid of the truth, I've told him more stuff about the divorce and the facts of the matter than I probably should have. But he deserved to know the truth of things, and I didn't want to lie to him.

blah..head not on right atm..