Dreams

Every night I dream about my father. They aren't bad dreams, they aren't really good dreams either. Mostly its about his death and the funeral afterwards, about the burial and talking to people around me. Alot of family members there, all comforting and helpful, but I keep SEEING him dead and in the casket.

There isn't any guilt associated with it, just sadness and lonliness and just alot of not wanting to believe its all real. Maybe thats why I'm dreaming this all the time, because I still don't want to believe its real and my mind is trying to remind me gently that it surely is.

Daytime is mostly alright, mom is still home/off work so its not like I can't pick up the phone and call her like I did dad so often, but she goes back next week and I'm just dreading that first time I forget and run in to lift up the phone and call dad about something stupid or silly I just read about...

I guess I just really wonder if this is normal, I don't recall ever dreaming about my grandmother like this, but that was a bit different.