Deep Breath
I feel like I can finally breathe.. I'm not recovered or over it or ok with it all in any frame of mind, but I can just breathe now knowing that the funeral, that all those formalities are handled and done with. Now its just time to live with what has happened and put back pieces.
My kids and husband are flying home today. That is SUCH a mixed bag of emotions for me. Logically, they have too. Its so much better for them to be at home. They have to get back to school on Monday and I dont know if they have projects to finish or any homework or what not, but to have the weekend to recoup, to sleep in their own beds and have their things and friends around them is far more healthy for them than to stay here.
They did so wonderfully though. It has affected each of them in their own unique way. Wednesday, Megan was so strong and brave and then at the funeral she lost it, just broke down and let it all go. By the time he was in the ground and the dirt was going in, she was recovering and feeling better. She put some flowers on the top and sad it helped her to be able to do that. She is one resilent kid.
Vincent was alot more withdrawn about it, but he let himself cry at the calling hours, and I'm not quite sure during hte funeral, but he was definitely doing better. Kat.. I'm not so sure about her yet. She seemed to cry it all out at the news, before we even flew up, but I'm just not so sure she's really let go, or let it sink in. She spent so much time with Grandpa over the summer that I just can't imagine she's grieved fully yet. I sorta worry bout sending her home before I know shes alright for real. Of course she says she is, but thats another story.
My kids and husband are flying home today. That is SUCH a mixed bag of emotions for me. Logically, they have too. Its so much better for them to be at home. They have to get back to school on Monday and I dont know if they have projects to finish or any homework or what not, but to have the weekend to recoup, to sleep in their own beds and have their things and friends around them is far more healthy for them than to stay here.
They did so wonderfully though. It has affected each of them in their own unique way. Wednesday, Megan was so strong and brave and then at the funeral she lost it, just broke down and let it all go. By the time he was in the ground and the dirt was going in, she was recovering and feeling better. She put some flowers on the top and sad it helped her to be able to do that. She is one resilent kid.
Vincent was alot more withdrawn about it, but he let himself cry at the calling hours, and I'm not quite sure during hte funeral, but he was definitely doing better. Kat.. I'm not so sure about her yet. She seemed to cry it all out at the news, before we even flew up, but I'm just not so sure she's really let go, or let it sink in. She spent so much time with Grandpa over the summer that I just can't imagine she's grieved fully yet. I sorta worry bout sending her home before I know shes alright for real. Of course she says she is, but thats another story.
posted by Tammy at
6:51 AM
1 Comments:
You are right bout the kids, I think Kat let most of it out, but she'll have more to let out than she knows later. Megan got it out, she'll miss him forever but I dont think she'll crash again like that. Vince, I think he'll crash at home. I think he'll go up to his room and let it all out sometime very soon.
Mom is dealing.. two big steps yesterday... Grocery shopping and went out to eat with Aunt Linda & Aunt Beth, at Cracker Barrel where dad and she went all the time. I sorta felt bad bout that, but as mom said, theres no where that we could go out that she and dad hadn't been.
This is why I'm staying, just to get her through the start of it. I have to stay, its my place to be here.
Oh yeah, and Dad would have understood.
By
Tammy, at 7:32 AM
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