Today's Babble
Well, I thought I'd be more babbling yesterday, but I didn't seem to get a chance. Not that I really did anything worth noting, but one distraction after another. A link in an article there, oh something interesting on TV for 5 minutes, a phone call, reading a forum or a blog... Then kids and husband home and just never got back to it.
I was VERY good over the weekend I'm realizing as Brian told me yesterday he'd gained five pounds. Of course 3 glasses of wine and numerous hersey kisses will do that for ya. My weight stayed within the 1-2 pound mark that I identify as my daily fluctuations, so I don't count any gain. I have a feeling I might not quite make 2 pounds lost this week though. First off I've just got NO drive to exercise. I made about half of my normal walking today and just sorta skipped the arm exercises. I scold myself and remind myself no one can do it but me, but it didn't seem to help today. And I have this HORRIBLE urge to snack on everything. I'm fighting it very hard, sticking to normal meals and snacks but its not easy today. I think part of me is saying well I made the wedding and impressed everyone, now I can slack off a bit. But I don't want that, I want to keep going. If nearly half way feels this good, then all the way will feel a thousand times better.
I want to go shopping and get a few more things to wear. I'm loving this new size. Yeah I've got a few 'bulges' to deal with, but they will go. Just time and effort and I'll get there.
I'll be 35 in a few short months, and thin for the first real time in my adult life. And money issues will be going away this next year too. I'll have to figure out how to deal with those pressures going away and deal with the new ones of Vince going to college in a year and a half, myself most likely going to college via online, and then the huge what if in my life of what will Brian do once he retires from the Navy. Its only 5 years away and he has absolutely no clue. I can't imagine making enough to support us both by then, and Katie will be going off to college the same year he retires, and Megan only in 10th grade or so.
Its good to sort this all out now, the weight, the bills... in a few years I don't think it'll be any easier to start. I just kick myself for not starting years ago, if I'd known it woulda ended up being this easy, .... but I wasn't ready, I wasn't at any point in my life to hear it. I wanted to feel sorry for myself and I just lay in that depression... I can't beat myself up over it now, but I'll never forget how completely miserable that time was, how wasted my life was.
At this moment, I couldn't be prouder to be a mother, to have my three beautiful, smart, intelligent and witty children who are on their way to being productive and exciting people in the world. I can't wait to see how their futures will be, who else they'll touch in their lives. Its so corny but honestly, it just amazes me that they are who they are.. and that I've actually managed to do something so important and do it well. I'm not living towards the future, but I'm looking forward to seeing where it takes each of them. I won't live in that past either, but I'll enjoy all these moments with them for as long as they can tolerate it *grins*
Wow..sappy enough eh?
I was VERY good over the weekend I'm realizing as Brian told me yesterday he'd gained five pounds. Of course 3 glasses of wine and numerous hersey kisses will do that for ya. My weight stayed within the 1-2 pound mark that I identify as my daily fluctuations, so I don't count any gain. I have a feeling I might not quite make 2 pounds lost this week though. First off I've just got NO drive to exercise. I made about half of my normal walking today and just sorta skipped the arm exercises. I scold myself and remind myself no one can do it but me, but it didn't seem to help today. And I have this HORRIBLE urge to snack on everything. I'm fighting it very hard, sticking to normal meals and snacks but its not easy today. I think part of me is saying well I made the wedding and impressed everyone, now I can slack off a bit. But I don't want that, I want to keep going. If nearly half way feels this good, then all the way will feel a thousand times better.
I want to go shopping and get a few more things to wear. I'm loving this new size. Yeah I've got a few 'bulges' to deal with, but they will go. Just time and effort and I'll get there.
I'll be 35 in a few short months, and thin for the first real time in my adult life. And money issues will be going away this next year too. I'll have to figure out how to deal with those pressures going away and deal with the new ones of Vince going to college in a year and a half, myself most likely going to college via online, and then the huge what if in my life of what will Brian do once he retires from the Navy. Its only 5 years away and he has absolutely no clue. I can't imagine making enough to support us both by then, and Katie will be going off to college the same year he retires, and Megan only in 10th grade or so.
Its good to sort this all out now, the weight, the bills... in a few years I don't think it'll be any easier to start. I just kick myself for not starting years ago, if I'd known it woulda ended up being this easy, .... but I wasn't ready, I wasn't at any point in my life to hear it. I wanted to feel sorry for myself and I just lay in that depression... I can't beat myself up over it now, but I'll never forget how completely miserable that time was, how wasted my life was.
At this moment, I couldn't be prouder to be a mother, to have my three beautiful, smart, intelligent and witty children who are on their way to being productive and exciting people in the world. I can't wait to see how their futures will be, who else they'll touch in their lives. Its so corny but honestly, it just amazes me that they are who they are.. and that I've actually managed to do something so important and do it well. I'm not living towards the future, but I'm looking forward to seeing where it takes each of them. I won't live in that past either, but I'll enjoy all these moments with them for as long as they can tolerate it *grins*
Wow..sappy enough eh?
posted by Tammy at
10:48 AM
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